Are You Biting the Hand That Feeds You?

The geese living in my backyard expect me to feed them. And being the soft-touch that I am, I occasionally do. But don’t imagine it’s a Disney-Moment, because it isn’t. Geese are cranky. The whole time I am tossing them bread crumbs, they are hissing at me. Even the babies. They run to within six inches of my feet, gaze at me with expectation, and between bites of food they threaten and complain. I would write this off as some sort of aberrant goose behavior, except I know people that are exactly the same way. 

Companies advertise for our business but then treat us as if our presence in their store is an inconvenience to them. Bosses treat their employees with inconsideration and think the fact that they are paying the employees’ salary gives them the right to be insensitive. Employees happily cash their paycheck but complain all week about how much they hate their job. We take advantage of public highways, public schools and public parks but complain about paying taxes. We’ve elevated self- centered behavior and grouchiness to an art form. 

Geese are not known for their intelligence and problem-solving skills, hence the old saying that someone is “as silly as a goose”. Biting (or hissing at) the hand that feeds you may make sense to you if you’ve got the brains of a goose, but it is silly, self-defeating behavior for a human and shows a dangerous lack of situational awareness. 

Businesses that don’t respect their customers will eventually have no customers. Supervisors who are insensitive to employees drive down productivity and put the business at risk. Employees who complain about their jobs will eventually be replaced by those with a more positive attitude.  Citizens who are unwilling to endure common sacrifices (such as taxes) will eventually be unable to benefit from common creations (like highways). 

If you’re a “hisser”, you need to know that you are programming failure and dissatisfaction into your future. Now, is that what you really want? 

Bigfoot, UFOs and the Happy Life: Believing is Seeing

Have you ever wondered why the only people who actually encounter Bigfoot in the woods are people who are open to the idea that Bigfoot might really exist? Or why the only ones to see UFOs are people who believe alien life forms are possible in the first place? You’ll seldom meet a converted skeptic, and there is a reason for that. We tend to see what we expect to see. For most people, the old phrase “seeing is believing” is not as true as the reverse: believing is seeing.
 

The things we pay attention to are the things that form our view of the world around us. We literally create our own reality by choosing where to direct our focus. For example, I am not a fan of outdoor adventures, but my husband is. He and I can hike in the mountains, and he will notice the plants and the wildlife and will feel exhilarated. His experience will be a positive one. I will notice the mosquitoes and the rough terrain and become irritable. My experience will be a negative one. He sees the flower, I see the bee. We walk the same path but come away having had very different experiences. 

The implications of where we choose to direct our focus in life are monumental, because through those choices, we are shaping our lives. When we look for faults, we find them. If we believe someone is out to get us, then everything that person does seems sinister. If we are sensitive to being slighted by others, we will constantly be on guard for insults, criticisms, prejudices and discrimination, and we will find them – even when they were never intended. As the old saying goes, we become “an ouch looking for a hurt”.

We’ve all met people who see the bad in every situation and every person they encounter. Their conversations center around their health problems, their family problems, their bad work situation, and on and on. They direct their focus toward whatever is wrong and completely ignore that which is going well. They have, through their attention, created a negative reality for themselves. That’s a shame. Choosing to live a negative life is like owning a gold mine and choosing to sell the dirt rather than the gold. You have access to both the treasure and the waste, but your focus will ensure that you spend your life dirty and poor.

To live a happy and fulfilling life, we must be very particular about what we pay attention to, and what we let fall to the wayside.  When we pay attention to something, it changes the way we feel. Those feelings then lead to actions, and the actions create results; either positive or negative. So, if we can change our focus, we can change our results. I’m not suggesting living a delusional life in which we pretend bad things aren’t real. But acknowledging that something is unpleasant is not the same as focusing on it. Go ahead and acknowledge the hurt – but move on. Don’t brood. When we redirect our attention away from the hurts of life and toward those things which bring us joy and satisfaction, our reality improves and our pain lessens. 

If you want to achieve happiness and satisfaction, begin focusing your attention as precisely as you would focus a camera lens, and focus on that which is positive. Notice when people smile at you, when people are kind to you, and when you do something well. Actively seek out the company of positive people. Notice how good your coffee tastes and how nice it is to have a warm shower in the morning. Read a good news story. Extend a kindness to someone and pay attention to how that makes you feel. 

In other words, notice your good life. 

 Talk about it. Ask questions. Examine life.