When Talk Isn't Cheap

I will admit to being a political cynic, but I don’t believe that I am alone in thinking that there is something strange going on in our nation’s capitol these days. It seems that no matter whom we elect and from what political party they arise, we end up with the same people – they just have different names and faces. They still make the same empty promises while pursuing the same personal and political agendas. They make lots of promises and keep very few. They talk a lot and accomplish a little. Actual problem-solving seems to be trumped by talking about problem-solving. And this is troubling, because contrary to popular opinion, talk is not cheap. 

Language is an amazingly powerful tool. It offers us the means to make understood that which can’t be seen or touched; to share our knowledge and wisdom with others. It allows us to express our joys and our sadness, our pleasures and our pain. We use language to make a friend; to comfort and console one another; to encourage and uplift. We use it to warn others of danger and to bring calm in a crisis. Our words allow us to accurately represent our intent and our mission, and when freely exchanged in good faith with others, they allows us to problem solve and collaborate for the betterment of many rather than the advancement of a few. What a treasure, this thing called language! 

But what happens when we use language to gain unfair advantage, to mislead or provide false comfort, to misdirect and misinform? What happens when we start using language to hide who we are, rather than to reveal who we are? Does talk get cheaper then? I suspect than anyone who has ever believed something that turned out to be a lie, or has been hurt by gossip or criticism, will tell you that the cost was very high indeed. And what about the personal cost to the liar, the gossiper, and the critic? What is the true value of the respect and trust that has been lost? Is it even measurable? When we lose our credibility, we lose our ability to successfully participate in the economy of relationships, and that’s not an incidental expense. 

Again I repeat: Talk is not cheap. What you say matters. 

Parents, your children will gain confidence through your praise or lose heart through your criticism; so teach, don’t preach.

Spouses, you have made promises to one another to love, honor and cherish; so keep them. 

Senators, Congressmen and other leaders: you speak for us, so speak carefully. Stop all the verbal posturing and let your word be your bond. We’re listening.

You see, every word we speak is either a deposit into, or a withdrawal from, the account of our character, so I repeat once again: Talk is not cheap. 

Please don’t misunderstand. I am not proposing that words hold more sway than actions, because they do not. If you mistreat someone, contrary to popular opinion, you cannot balance the books by saying “I’m sorry”. If your words and your actions don’t line up, I can assure you people will give more credence to what you do than to what you say. I’m not advocating “talking a good line” over "living a good life”. But, what I am saying is that words must not be treated as incidental. They have weight. They have import. They have consequences.  

When we cheapen our words by using them as a substitute for action we are diminished, and when we use our words to diminish others we are cheapened; because words are the currency of trust. 

And you can take that to the bank.