Change and Commitment: Two Sides of the Same Coin

Recently, while chatting with a coworker, he made reference to someone who kept repeating the same negative, self-destructive behaviors over and over again. When I asked him if he saw any sign that the person might reform, he shrugged and asked, “Can a leopard change his spots?” He meant the question to be a rhetorical one, but it made me think…

There seems to be a Freudian revival underway in the field of psychology, and a growing number of scientists (and pseudo-scientists) are promoting the notion that very little of human behavior is dictated by the conscious mind. Their premise is that the unconscious mind dictates our behavior, and that we are very much “hard wired” to behave the way we do. (If you get the chance, read the book Incognito: The Secret lives of the Brain, by David Eagleman, for an interesting perspective on this theory.) While I don’t disagree that the unconscious mind plays a significant role in our behavior, I resist the implication that people are slaves to forces over which they have no control; that we cannot override our predispositions through conscious effort and free will. While it’s true that a leopard cannot change its spots, it’s also worth noting that people aren’t leopards.

I have known many people, myself included, who have made deliberate, conscious, painful decisions to change behaviors; and the change occurred over time, accompanied by many stumbles, outright falls and a repeatedly bruised ego. Humans can change for the better when they are committed to doing so. But here’s the rub: Commitment and change are two sides of the same coin. We cannot have one without the other. There are no magic bullets, no easy fixes, and no overnight transformations when it comes to rewiring our brains to affect new behaviors. The decision to change can be made in a moment, but the change itself is wrought over time. 

If you have made a decision about changing your life, make the commitment as well. Then, move forward with confidence. Don’t let anyone convince you that you have a destiny over which you have no control. Be patient with yourself when you stumble, praise yourself when you advance, and in the words of Winston Churchill, “Never, never, never, never give up.”