A Complainer's Update: The Sand in My Shoes

As I suspected, trying to go without complaining has been difficult. The longest I have gone without airing a grievance of some sort has been three days. It’s certainly not twenty one days without complaining like Will Bowen advocates, but I think it is actually a significant improvement for me. As I said, I have a long history of complaining, so this may take some time. 

As it turns out, I am being tripped up, not by the big things, but by the little things. Here are some of the complaints that have set me back:

“There is nothing good on the radio.” 

“Why can’t restaurants add some gluten-free baked goods or pancakes to their menu?” (Yep – it turns out that I am still complaining about that).

“Why can’t I buy even one bottle of Spanish wine that doesn’t taste like Black Flag??” (The Italians would agree with me, but it’s still a fruitless grievance – no pun intended).

I once read an account of a man who had walked across America, from coast to coast. After his journey was complete, a reporter asked him what had been his toughest challenge along the way. His response was thought-provoking. He said that it wasn’t the “big” challenges that almost caused him to give up his quest. He met thunderstorms, muscle cramps, and fatigue with determination. Rather, the thing that almost defeated him was the daily “small” challenge of the sand in his shoes. Over and over again, the small, irritating grains of sand would make their way into his shoes and begin to chafe his feet. By the end of each day, his feet were sore and raw from the sand. After many days, the constant irritation was almost more than he could bear. 

I think I know just what he means. You see, it’s not the rocks that we have to climb along our journey that threaten to derail us; it’s the sand in our shoes. Blessedly, most of us don’t have to deal with a new, catastrophic situation each and every day. We all encounter tragedy and intensely emotional challenges periodically throughout our lives, but for the most part, they crop up occasionally. We muster our courage and spirit, and we deal with them. We emerge on the other side with a few battle scars and tender places, but we are still standing. 

But those small irritations, compounded daily, are the true enemies of our success and peace of mind. Like sand in our shoes, they accumulate and begin to chafe, until at some point, we look at ourselves and we are laid bare; raw, bleeding and going down for the count. No joy. No peace. No rest. We were prepared to slay a dragon but ended up being nibbled to death by a duck.

The man who walked across America offered some advice to anyone who wanted to follow in his footsteps: Wear thick socks and frequently shake the sand out of your shoes.

My efforts to stop complaining are part of my attempt to follow his wise advice. Focusing on the little annoyances in my life is like sprinkling sand in my shoes and then taking a walk in thin socks. It’s going to chafe. Why not focus on what is good (the equivalent of wearing thick socks) and choose to put away the small irritations (shake the sand out of my shoes)? 

So, I am still traveling. I have made some progress in my complaint-free journey, and that feels good. It’s slow going, but the scenery is starting to look a little bit different now. I’m in a brighter place than I was when I started out, and that’s nice. 

I think I still have a long stretch of road ahead of me. That’s to be expected, though, considering my starting place. But hey…who’s complaining? (smile). 

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