I love having choices. The freedom to shape our own destiny, as it were, is one of the things that Americans hold most dear; one of the things we celebrate each Fourth of July. We choose where we will live, what we will eat, what we will wear, what we will do for a living, who we will vote for…Americans are choosers. So does being free to choose make us better, more tolerant, people?
Not necessarily, according to a recent study published in the June issue of the journal Psychological Science.
The article states:
“Choice makes North Americans feel more in control, free, and independent, and thus has many positive consequences for the individuals’ motivation and well-being.”
However, the study goes on to say that “…activating the concept of choice increases victim blaming and decreases empathy for disadvantaged people.”
This is interesting to me. The idea that we are less concerned about others, for any reason, is troubling, but particularly so when something so deeply ingrained into who we are as a society, such as the freedom to choose, is implicated. Can being free to choose undermine kindness and empathy? If so, why is that?
The conclusion drawn by the authors of the study is that, as successful individuals in free Western societies, we tend to look at where we are in life and see our position as being a result of our own choices and personal effort, rather than a result of politics, the efforts of others, or fate. Therefore, we may believe that if we have been able to “pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps”, then those around us can too. In other words, we frame everyone’s experience by our own experience.
If others are not successful or happy, it must surely be attributed to something they have, or haven’t, done. If they had just tried harder, worked harder, saved more, spent less, practiced safe sex, stopped smoking, started exercising, tried harder in school, chosen a different career path, chosen a different government…the list goes on… then they wouldn’t be in the shape they are in today. We shrug our shoulders and think, “Hey, they made their bed. Now they’re going to have to sleep in it.”
Let me offer an example to help illustrate the point. A 2004 report in the Journal of Public Economics, citing the World Values Survey, indicated that only 30% of Americans believe the poor are “trapped” in poverty, and 60% of Americans reported that they believed people were poor because they were lazy. In other words, a significant number of Americans tend to see poverty as a choice.
Now, I am under no illusions that everyone will make the most of their opportunities. There are plenty of good examples of bad choices. Some people are poor because they are lazy. Some people are sick because of poor lifestyle choices. Some people do abuse the system. But in the words of Kent M. Keith, author of The Paradoxical Commandments:
Do Good Anyway.
Our society offers many advantages that are unparalleled elsewhere in the world. And all of the advantages that we have as a nation are hard won; including, and most especially, our freedom to choose. But the idea that a lack of empathy for another person's pain, regardless of whether it is self-imposed, is warranted because the person “brought it on themselves”, feels awfully small and mean to me. I don’t want to be that person.
I want to have a generosity of spirit that is based upon how much I share in common with those who suffer. I want to be a part of a society that extends kindness, help, and support to my fellow human beings, both at home and abroad, without suspicion and without regret. I want to remember that in most cases, “there but for the grace of God (or the twists of fate) go I.”
I want to encourage each of you to celebrate this Fourth of July by choosing to exercise the one freedom that no government can endow or take away: the freedom to extend kindness to your fellow man.
PS. If you want to learn more about the Paradoxical Commandments and take the “Do Good Anyway” Challenge, visit the Paradoxical Commandments website and download your free certificate. Buy the book while you’re at it. It’s a great read.
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